Beef Vindaloo

US President George W. Bush is angry at his country for ruining the birthday party he planned for the Statue of Liberty. The president said that he had planned the birthday surprise weeks in advance and the plethora of TV specials, parades and parties around the country gave the surprise away. The Statue of Liberty was supposed to have a grand birthday party with balloons, party favours and a huge birthday cake that he ordered nearly a month in advance. George W. Bush said that after the party was ruined, he didn’t want to attend anyone else’s party because it wouldn’t be as good as the one he had planned.

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The striking Screen Actors Guild have now added Anil Ambani to their list of grievances saying that the businessman’s interest in Hollywood could potentially damage everything the industry has worked hard for as well as the lives and careers of several actors. The strike, which does not look to end anytime soon, began over payment issues but the union representatives have added Anil Ambani to the list of problems saying that if the Ambani-DreamWorks deal goes through, all talented Hollywood actors would never get a chance to work in a good DreamWorks film ever again.

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Pakistan cricket coach Geoff Lawson’s outburst after Pakistan humiliating loss to Sri Lanka prompted a near walkout by the assembled press corps. After insulting Pakistani journalists by telling them to improve their English, tournament sponsors and TV channel Star Cricket decided to show support to the humiliated journalists by rejigging their commentary team with as many poor-English speakers as they could manage. Consequently, Roshan Mahanama, Akhtar Ali Khan, Salim Malik and Waqar Younis are occupying centre-stage in a battle of poor pronunciation.

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China announced various caveats to their “Right to Strike” rule, which was announced late last night. According to the Chinese government, they want to make sure that this newly declared right is not abused. While the government maintains that the workers would able to go on strike if they have good reason, they would have to outsource the actual strike efforts to neighbouring India so as not to hamper the production process. China believes that India has immense and ancient history in the strike and protest business and this new arrangement would be beneficial to everyone involved.

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Just when the country thought that they have seen everything where it comes to the outsourcing industry, a new shakeup is waiting at the door. This time, from one of the most unlikely sources - young women from several states in India are coming together to demand that their occupation be brought under the governing umbrella of the outsourcing industry. These women earn their living being surrogate mothers for couples both in the country and abroad. Now, they want the same kind of tax benefits accorded to the various BPO and KPO companies in the country.

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Bollywood is feeling waves of horror as it found out the true reason for the Syracuse University internship programmes. A group of around 20 film majors from the prestigious US university have been working on Bollywood projects. The film producers were under the impression that the students volunteered for this project in order to see what it was like to work for such a prolific film industry; as it turns out, the real reason for this internship programme is because the university felt that the first lesson any new American film maker should learn is to respect Hollywood and be eternally grateful that they don’t work in Bollywood.

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Barely a week after American President blamed India’s middle class for eating too much and causing a global rise in food prices, Bush has now said that the cyclone in Burma could further affect food prices. Bush said that since the United States would be forced to help deliver aid and food rations to the cyclone hit areas, it would result in a shortage in food for domestic consumers leading to further price rises. This, coupled with the fact that most Americans are losing their houses on an unprecedented fast rate, Bush believes that there is no way that Senator John McCain could lose the upcoming elections.

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