Beef Vindaloo

Iran has officially boycotted the any entry of Olympics Barbie, the official toy of the summer Olympics game. Coming on the back of Iran’s criticism of all Barbie dolls, while this threat does not seem a major problem for most people, manufacturers are concerned of the effect that this ban would have on other Islamic countries. The official Olympics Barbie would be modelled on the traditional size zero model but would be suited in Chinese gymnast outfits. Iran has objected to lifting the ban even if there is a release of an Iranian version of the doll.

Iranian Prosecutor General Mohd Haben-bin-Lade called the dolls “offensive, immoral and a disgusting influence on children.” He said he feared for the future generations of the countries that allow the sale of the doll. “Parents who buy this doll for their children are telling them that they should become gymnasts and athletes,” he said, “if that happens then how will you get your lunch and dinner and you will birth your seventeen sons.” Haben-bin-Lade presented a compelling case to journalists calling for all dolls to be buried up to their necks and stoned while the plastic melts in the burning desert son.
He called the Iranian version a mockery of Iranian culture. “We do not want to be pacified with an Iranian version; we want the complete destruction of the infidel doll.”

What made matters worse was the surfacing of what is rumoured to be an internal memo where manufacturers suggested that the best way to pacify Iran would be “to strap tiny explosives round Barbie’s chest.” While this memo has not been confirmed by any manufacturer and therefore could be a hoax, Iran is not looking at the funny side of things. “You infidels think you can say anything and get away with it, we will immediately start the manufacture of American athlete dolls – they will have big necks, blood shot eyes and the women dolls will have a beard and testicles and the men will have breasts.”

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