Beef Vindaloo

After last week’s failed attempts at getting their voices heard, several thousand “Free Tibet” protestors are planning to tour three Indian cities in other to study effective rioting. These protestors believe that no better understands how to riot, destroy property and not be caught better than Indian protestors do. The tour that starts in Mumbai will also include the nation’s capital Delhi and the West Bengal town of Nandigram. Protestors hope that the seven-day tour would provide them with enough information to launch another strike at the Chinese authorities.

“We believe in learning from our mistakes,” said Len Zin Bei, a protestor who has flown down from California in the United States, “last week was an unplanned and uncoordinated attack and we aim to do better this time round.” Bei is one of a group of 500 protestors from several Western countries who are in India to learn the art of rioting. “We have seen enough and read enough to know that if you want to destroy a city and not get caught then you better come to India first,” he said, “we’re learning from the best in the world here, the Chinese had better watch out.” The training sessions would include torching cars, buses, shops, throwing city life out of gear, making normal people’s lives a living hell and all the while appearing to the international media as the repressed and underprivileged group.

None of the protestors was keen on divulging who their gurus were and given the numerous groups of people who are proficient in this art in India, even speculation would not prove useful. “All I can say is that these people understand our torment and anguish,” Bei said, “while most people would not see the similarity between protesting against a supermarket or a car company and protesting against your government, these people do and for that we are grateful.” With the international community siding with China instead of the violent protestors last week, it is anyone’s guess who will emerge the hero in upcoming riots.

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