Beef Vindaloo

International airline company, Virgin, and cellular service providers, Vodafone and Airtel have come together to issue a joint statement clarifying their position on Valentine’s Day. The companies have signed a statement that says that it is a coincidence that all three companies have red as their corporate colour and that does not mean in any way that they are going out of their way to support Valentine’s Day. The companies hope that the culture-upholding mobs around the country would not attack their showrooms or hoardings because of their red colour.

“While a lot of thought has gone into our corporate logo and official colours, Valentine’s Day was definitely not a factor,” said Vodafone CEO Arun Sarin, “we want to assure the Indian people that we are not voicing any sort of support through our red hoardings or our red-coloured showrooms across the country.” The companies felt that they were not being paranoid by issuing this statement judging by past activities. Various religious group and political parties across the country believe that Indians should not recognise Valentine’s Day because it goes against Indian culture. Valentine’s Day glorifies concepts like love, friendship, commitment and relationships, which are alien to Indian culture and therefore should be shunned and rejected. These groups regularly destroy Archie’s and Hallmark showrooms every year and the companies felt that this statement is therefore a “required and safe measure.”

Archie’s and Hallmark showrooms across the country are believed to be putting certain measures in place to deal with the political and religious groups. A spokesperson from Hallmark who did not wish to be named said that the companies plan to hang Valentine’s Day posters written in the local language. English-language Valentine’s Day cards would also be placed alongside local language Valentine’s Day in order to confuse the mob. “The idea is simple, if they do not see English, they will not destroy it because it has now become one of their own,” he said, “who knows, maybe we won’t have to renovate our showroom this year after all.”

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