Beef Vindaloo

United States President George W. Bush has finally admitted that he is been beaten well and proper during his hunt for Osama bin Laden. The American leader said that the last six years has been traumatic to say the least and that he has finally been able to admit that he needs backup. In a statement that continued to shock the gathered journalists, the President announced that the United States would seek help of MI5’s most famous and able problem solver-detective James Bond. In an effort to lighten the tense atmosphere, Bush declared, “Somebody get me Bond, James Bond.”

The President fielded questions for over an hour about whether the September 11, 2001 bombings were in fact the job of the CIA. Journalists grilled the leader about his unshakeable conviction that bin Laden had a hand in it. “Why aren’t you sending troops to Langley,” asked a BBC correspondent that brought titters amongst the gathered corps. After a gruelling hour of incisive questions, President Bush admitted the actual reason for calling the press together. “The kind of person who we need on this assignment is someone who has over 40 years of experience catching them bad guys from around the world,” he said, “a man who, when everyone else fails, manages to get the job done in under two hours and he is currently my last resort.” Bush said that he was confident that M would loan out James Bond for the two hours needed for Bond to get the enemy and save the world.

Bush said that he was confident that his “better late than never” policy would also go a long way in supporting the Republican candidates ahead of the elections later this year. While there has been no comment from the Democrats, political correspondents said that they would be foolish to take this lightly because a publicity stunt like this could really strengthen the Republicans. “In the end, it’s about serving your people,” Bush said, “and who better to do that than US and James Bond.”

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