Beef Vindaloo

International superstar Bryan Adams has decided to further cash in on his popularity in India. The Canadian singer who currently sells his records exclusively in India has decided to protect his songs that are currently being used by night clubs, pubs and retro bars are “comedown songs” or the last song played before the clubs shuts down for the night. Club owners are also believed to use Adams’s songs to induce their patrons to drink more in the attempt of wiping out their short term memory of hearing the song. Under the proposed arrangement, Adams’s songs would come at a premium to club owners should they decide to play his songs as “the last track of the night.”

“I just want club owners to realise that what they are doing is giving their customers an immense benefit by making me the last voice they hear before leaving the club,” Adams said, “what they are ensuring is that the customers would definitely come back to the club since the last thing they would remember of the club would be me.” Adams feels that what club owners are doing is, in effect, using him as a brand ambassador of the club making sure that the customers leave after hearing their favourite singer and leaving them with, what he calls, “the ultimate feel good factor” they could ask for.

While club owners are indeed upset about the extra tariff, they unanimously agree that it is more than fair. “We understand where he is coming from actually and we know that our customers are leaving as extremely happy people and a lot of it is to do with the fact that the last song of the evening is a Bryan Adams number,” said the owner of Mumbai nightclub, Hawaiian Shack, “I only wish that there was a better way to settle the premium.” Shack is one of almost 98% of the Mumbai night clubs who insist on playing Bryan Adams over and over again every night of the week despite patrons banging their heads against walls and clawing their eyes out in despair. There is a small number of critics who are hoping that this tariff might actually lead to a drop in the number of times one gets to hear Bryan Adams songs.

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