Beef Vindaloo

The French chapter of the animal rights activiist group, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, is targetting well-known French vodka company Grey Goose for alleged mistreatment of animals. PETA said that the vodka manufacturer are clearly using animals to further profts of their company and are looking into practices of animal testing of their product. In an international press release, PETA said that there have been instances where the company “have force fed new flavours of vodka to geese before testing them on humans.”

“This is perhaps the single most ridiculous accusation that I have ever heard,” said Grey Goose global ambassador Dimitri Lezinka, “PETA have quite obviously gotten tired of posing naked in front of premium fur shops and this is simply an attempt for them to get out of their boredom by gunning for innocent businessmen.” Lezinka said that Grey Goose does not believe in animal testing and would never resort to a practice that is actually harmful for the company’s profits. “Grey Goose gets hundreds of applications from college students around the world every year,” Lezinka said, “why would we try to test vodka on geese when we have a steady supply of human volunteers who are quite willing to be free test subjects.”

PETA spokespersons have said that there is a reason why the company have chosen the goose as their name and symbol. “There are a million species of bird and animal life around the world; why would their decide to use a goose.” According to PETA, the company forces the geese to taste their vodka over a period of five years. After this time frame, all the test geese are sold to butchers who use the birds to make liver pate. PETA says that after five years of serious pickling, the geese livers fetch a much higher price than standard French geese.

The organisation also have problems with the company not paying a single Euro to the geese or to representatives of the geese for using their name to sell the product and for using them to test the product. According to the rights group, the company should look into taking care of any geese that are born during the time that a particular geese os working with the company. Grey Goose, they say, should ensure that all company children be given their daily feed free of charge. The newly born geese should decide for themselves whether they want to migrate south or work for the company as their parents had.

Grey Goose representatives have laughed at all these allegations saying that the lack of protein and quality alcohol has obviously played havoc with PETA activists’ brains and they would rather spend money on PETA workers than on geese. “Not a single goose is harmed during the manufacture of even a single bottle of vodka,” they said, “which is a lot more than can be said about the childhood of several PETA workers.”

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