Beef Vindaloo

The decision by the authorities at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) in Bombay to switch off access to the Internet between the hours of 1am and 5am has come under a lot of fire by students. Students who have been staying up late every night chatting and socialising online will now be forced to meet, speak and interact with human beings outside of a class environment. Authorities hope that this endeavour will help the greater cause of these graduating IITians ending up as more human than geek.

“It is quite a simple consideration,” said IIT Bombay spokesperson Aruna Thosar-Dixit, “if we switch off the cyber world then there is a greater chance that these students will get into the habit of speaking with real-life humans even at night and even when they are not in a board room or a classroom.” But the insitute’s good intention have not been met with any appreciation so far. “I can not believe that I am not able to visit my Orkut page now in the night time,” said first-year computer engineering student Jotesh Bhaskar, “how will I tell my friends in Rio that the reason I am not online is because I am banned! They will think I am ill.” Bhaskar admitted that he has a steady girlfriend in Rio de Janerio who might misunderstand his net absence to be unhappiness with the relationship. He said that the two are in the fifth month of their relationship, one that started off with her typing “LOL” to all his jokes. “After the first month, suddenly one day she wrote HH (Holding Hands). I was the happiest man in the world.” A teary-eyed Bhaskar is upset that their relationship might not survive this long silence. “The last thing I said to her was BRB.”

IIT Bombay hopes that students like Bhaskar will come around in time and they will see the long-term advantages of being able to speak face-to-face with human beings especially those of the opposite sex. “Sooner or later they will have to realise that the line, ‘I just closed a deal for 10 million US dollars’ is not going to find them any love.” Thosar-Dixit hopes that the institute will eventually manage to de-geekify the students before they graduate. “If even 10 of the graduating class of 5,000 exhibit human traits, we would consider the exercise a success.”

When contacted for their comments, corporate India at large does not think much of this initiative. “It is a blatant waste of time,” said Pepsi Chairperson Indra Nooyi, “what use does a business have for an IITian with social skills? The role of an IITian is to perform in a boardroom during business hours. I don’t see how I would care if I am interviewing someone and he tells me that he is able to talk to a girl at a party. That’s not what I am looking for in an employee.”

While there is no scope for debate as far as the ban is concerned, all the IIT Bombay students can do now is to start from square one by looking into the eyes of another student and saying, “Hello, will you make friendship with me?”

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